Tag Archives: alone

I’m leaving on a jet plane

Long distance relationships are hard. That is what everyone keeps telling me and I know that they are right. When I first went to uni (in Liverpool) my boyfriend lived in Amsterdam, that was a long way away and despite flights to and fro it came to an end after a few months – his idea, not mine, I was heart broken. Now that I am a fully formed 42 year old I imagined that a long distance relationship would be easier, I am more realistic about what to expect and I know that we can’t have everything we want. My partner of 3 years has taken a job in Switzerland for at least the next 3 months, possibly longer. He leaves on a Sunday night and returns late on a Thursday night so he has 3 nights in the UK. We don’t live together, in fact we live a 45 minute drive apart, but we had a nice routine of spending Saturday night to Wednesday morning together but now we are down to one night a week. And that is usually with a clutch of children, his and mine. I know that he is trying to fit a week’s worth of parenting and love with his children into a short space of time and if he suggested that he didn’t see his children so he could see me instead I would actually love and respect him less but things seem very fractured at the moment. Trying to squash everything in to a quarter of the time that we used to have. He has aways travelled for work but never for this long. He has recently taken the leap from his job of 15 years to starting his own company and this is his first contract. I really couldn’t be prouder but I know that from now on everything will be very different. Thank God for Whats App. I am hoping to visit him soon for a weekend but having consulted my diary my next free whole weekend without Lulu is in June!

On the plus side I can go to bed at 8.30pm when I feel unwell and not feel like the worst inattentive girlfriend ever, yep, thats about it for the plus side I’m afraid. We have booked a holiday for the family in August, our annual jaunt to Suffolk, and a weekend away with 30 members of his family for his 50th Birthday in July, which are things to look forward to and time together. However it still takes some getting used to and damn it I miss being cuddled regularly. In an odd way its like being single again but without spending all my energy on first dates. In fact it feels a little like when my husband left me, everything has changed and I am sleeping alone again. I’m trying not to be too sad about it, it isn’t forever, but I quite like seeing my partner regularly and I miss him. I also understand that his work will take him abroad and he enjoys the travel, so realistically it isn’t a matter of making it through these 3 months, his next contract could literally be anywhere in the world so I am trying to see this as the new norm. If only things were cheaper in Duty Free (bloody Brexit – I need my Clarins Handcream!!!), it may have sweetened such a bitter pill.

 

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